Dreaming of Fireflies

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Electropop Lullabye October 29, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jen @ 8:47 am

I heard a song called Fireflies last night that made me laugh (partly because it was sung in a slightly robotic voice, apparently part of a genre called “electropop”). Since this blog is called Dreaming of Fireflies, I couldn’t not post it…

Fireflies by Owl City

You would not believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies
Lit up the world as I fell asleep
Cause they’d fill the open air
And leave teardrops everywhere
You’d think me rude but I would just stand and stare


I’d like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It’s hard to say that I’d rather stay awake when I’m asleep
Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep


Cause I’d get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
As they tried to teach me how to dance
A foxtrot above my head
A sock-hop beneath my bed
A disco ball just hanging by a thread


Leave my door open just a crack
Cause I feel like such an insomniac
Why do I tire of counting sheep
When I’m far too tired to fall asleep


To ten million fireflies
I’m weird cause I hate goodbyes
I got misty eyes as they said farewell
But I’ll know where several are
If my dreams get real bizarre
Cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar


I’d like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It’s hard to say that I’d rather stay awake when I’m asleep
Because my dreams are bursting at the seams


A Fresh Perspective October 10, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jen @ 4:12 pm

Well, I have started my new job! It’s mostly been a lot of orientation activities and reading policies and procedures manuals, but today I got to observe my coworkers working with a couple of new clients. It was pretty similar to what I have done before, but to be an observer was actually a really good experience. I did not have to worry about collecting and recording all the information or contend with any  nervousness about performing well, so I could just sit back and listen to people’s stories, which stirred up compassion in me in a new way, or at least freed me up to notice it more. Many of these clients are very sweet, hardworking, ‘normal’ people plagued by anxiety, depression, and heart-wrenching situations. They could have been my parents or my friends or me.  And the ones who’s situations are more severe and less easy to understand may be even more deserving of compassion. As a professional I can’t get too emotionally invested in clients’ lives, but it was a good experience to forget about myself and remember why I am doing what I am doing.


Leave to Work October 5, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jen @ 8:50 pm

“ ‘Get leave to work—
In this world tis the best you get at all,
For God in cursing gives us better gifts
Than men in benediction.’

So wrote Elizabeth Barret Browning— and truly. It is hard to understand why work should be called a curse— until one remembers what bitterness forced or uncongenial labor is. But the work for which we are fitted— which we feel we are sent into the world to do— what a blessing it is and what fullness of joy it holds. I felt this today as the old fever burned in my fingertips and my pen once more seemed a friend. Leave to work! – one would think anyone could obtain so much. But sometimes anguish and heartbreak forbid us the leave. And then we realize what we have lost and know that it is better to be cursed by God than forgotten by Him. If He had punished Adam and Eve by sending them out to idleness, indeed they would have been outcast and accursed. Not all the dreams of Eden ‘whence the four great rivers flow’ could have been as sweet as those I am dreaming tonight, because the power to work has come back to me. Oh, God, as long as I live give me ‘leave to work’. Thus pray I. Leave and courage.”

–L.M. Montgomery, Emily’s Quest

This is an excerpt from my new favorite book series, which is actually quite old, from the author who wrote Anne of Green Gables. It was fitting even a few weeks ago as I started to get out of a funk produced by idleness and received some inspiration for a writing project, but it is even more fitting now as I begin my new job tomorrow after 6 long months of searching, praying, and waiting. It was rough on me at times (as some of you can relate to), but God sustained me and I know he accomplished some good things in my life during that time. Like patience, for one thing! And fostering my desire to work, rather than just wanting a job because I’m supposed to get one. And some growing up as I encountered new adult responsibilities and my finite ability to fulfill them at times, leading me to both grow in discipline and learn to rely on God more deeply. My experience also led many people in my life to pray for Ben and me, which I greatly appreciate, and I don’t know that all of them are people who pray regularly, so that right there makes it worth it. And, I guess I got to have one final summer “vacation”, didn’t I?

Maybe more of this will come into perspective as I start working (actually my first real full-time job ever), maybe not. And although I am emerging from the battle somewhat emotionally tired and battered, I’m also a little bit stronger. I’m sure the new experiences I am about to have will also grow and stretch me in new ways, as well.

I better get some rest for tomorrow, since I now have leave to work!